" Mom, Susan is right about one thing; you should go out."Mom sat up sharply and shot back, "I don't need that from you, Judy. I am still your mother, and I will not be addressed that way by a fifteen-year-old." Addressed what way?" I caught that inference. Don't play dumb, Judy. If I prefer an artificial penis to the real ones, that's my business and no one else's. Were you snooping around in my room? Did you tell Susan about my dildoes? If you want one, I'll get you one, but don't be messing with my personal things! And don't be telling people about my personal sex habits."Her words stole my breath. It never dawned on me that my mother owned a dildoe--or dildoes. I couldn't even protest my innocence, because she got up and stormed off, slamming her bedroom door. I stood there, stupefied.Her words kept echoing in my mind: "... my dildoes... If you want one, I'll get you one... snooping... golden phallus." I was dumbfounded. I thought, "She'd get me one? I was a virgin. What would a. "I love those shoes, Amy!" Melora, their lead guitarist, chirped whenshe saw me. She looked like a fucking goddess, in a black silk shirtopened at her navel, and these low-slung black velvet pants."Thanks," I said, lamely. Nerves, and all. Suddenly, I didn't feel somuch like an anarchist. Plus, I thought I looked like a little girlpretending to be a rock star next to Melora and the rest.Cameron barely noticed me, but I sure as fuck noticed her. Tons ofmascara streaming down her face, this short satin dress, lots oftattoos. I guess she was supposed to look like the forlorn, heroin-addicted prom queen. Mission accomplished, you pretentious bitch.It took forever for us to get started, and when we did, the place waspacked. And hot. But man, it fuckin' rocked. Sarah and Lena more thanmade up for any little mistakes Gina and I made. But I put on a show,all for Tamara. I jumped off my amp, I played lying down on the stage, Ithrew my bass up and caught it. Actually, that was kind of a dumb.
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